Fifteen side projects, five years of unfiled taxes, one dirty house and a procrastination habit that has never lost a game. Every weekend goes to whichever idea showed up most recently, and the previous idea gets eaten. Results reconstructed from his own chat history and confessions.
Follow the arrows. Follow the arrows from the most powerful force in his life down to the least defended.
Green pips are weekends stolen from something else. Red pips are weekends lost. Ordered by how loud each one is in his head right now.
Procrastination is undefeated. It has eaten the taxes, the business, the house and the outreach texts, and nothing has laid a finger on it. It is the only thing on this page operating at full capacity.
The business is everyone's lunch. A multi-tenant SMS platform with quiet hours and a 90-day cooldown, built for a pilot client he has never spoken to. Zero customers. Six other things have taken time from it.
The IRS is the only stakeholder with a deadline. Five years of returns lost to a trading bot, an agent fleet and a 3D school. He built four AI employees and none of them is an accountant.
There is a loop. Augur ate the memory layer, the memory layer ate Vox, Vox ate the trading bot, and the trading bot ate Augur. The SEC has zero loops. rhiza has one. He is eating himself in a circle.
The homeschool app keeps eating its own previous version. Mochi was replaced by Campus. Campus went from visual novel to 2D pixel school to a Three.js 3D walkable building with NPC classmates. The student is not in on the design.
Asked Claude what percentile of genius he is. Claude declined to give a number. That chat is not in the rankings, but it is in the footage.
Read across a row for each project's record against the others. Scores are hours stolen. Darker cells mean worse beatings.
Ranked by how much of his brain each one owns right now. Revenue column included for completeness.
Contenders. Every project and problem on this page is real, from rhiza's chat history and his own submissions high.
Matchups. The hours and who-ate-whom results are a comedic reconstruction of what got worked on instead of what roast. If you are one of his projects and you feel misrepresented, ship something.
Requested by the subject. He said he is good, bro.